Every Reason to Hope Again
by galaxygal
Summary: Before leaving Voyager for Earth, Chakotay and Janeway have something to discuss on the holodeck.


**Every Reason to Hope Again…**

 _Setting:_ After Voyager's return in Endgame (S7 E25-26). Unlike other fictions, I'm assuming that the crew has to complete end-of-voyage checks before they can turn over the ship to Starfleet and disembark for debriefing and some well-earned shore leave to see family and friends. This story is set during the last day of those checks.

 _Standard Disclaimer:_ These characters do not belong to me and are used merely for fun.

"Alright, Chakotay. We've got a lot to do today. Why am I on Holodeck 2?"

Chakotay had to smile. Kathryn had started questioning him before she was even fully in the holodeck. As she stopped several feet from him, she raised her eyebrow questioningly, waiting for a response. Obviously, she'd already had her morning coffee – probably several cups and it was only 0700.

"I know you have a busy schedule this morning, but I needed to discuss this with you. As you know, Naomi is working on her Junior Starfleet badges."

"Naomi is what we're here to discuss?" Kathryn was a little incredulous.

"Sort of." He kept his air nonchalant although his heart was beating rapidly, and he wondered if his nervousness showed. Spirits, how she could affect him…

"Yes, I know about her activities. I've been helping her with the science badges."

"Well, I've been helping her with animal tracking, as well as cultural anthropology. We've been through several holo-programs over the past few weeks, so I chose to give her a new world to explore to test what she had learned. Computer, start Program 355, authorization Chakotay 9A."

Kathryn's breath caught as New Earth appeared around them. She closed her eyes as she felt the warmth of the morning sun and inhaled the smell of growing plants. Chakotay's voice brought her back to the moment.

"Imagine my surprise when Naomi blurted out that she knew this place. She told me about how she and the Captain visit the same program. She talked about how you've swam together in the river, worked in the garden…" He took a few steps toward Kathryn as he spoke. "I asked her if I was there and she said yes. That told me the two of you were visiting a different program."

Kathryn shrugged and looked aside. She feigned indifference as she said, "Your point, Commander?"

"My point, Kathryn…," Chakotay drew out her name to bring them back to the personal level. She had thrown their professional relationship in his face for the past three years as a way to keep him at a distance. He would not let it happen today. "… is that you have a New Earth program too."

Kathryn looked at him for a few moments, her face expressionless as she weighed her options. Why were they having this conversation? He had moved on and was with Seven now, wasn't he? She tilted her head and asked, "And if I do, what concern of that is yours?"

Chakotay's expression and voice grew serious. "I've already checked, Kathryn. I know you have a New Earth program and that for some time now, you play it every time you have access to the holodeck." He took two more steps toward her. "And it does concern me, because if you do have a New Earth program and I'm part of it, then I have every reason to hope again."

Kathryn still stayed detached as she replied, "And you want a reason to hope? I thought you had moved on."

"Kathryn, I've ended everything with her."

Kathryn sighed. "Computer, end program." The holodeck walls appeared momentarily – a reflection of what her life had become – gray and bare. She had the opportunity to change all of that now if she wanted, and it sounded like Chakotay was asking her to do just that. But after so much time of trying not to feel, it would be hard. Finally she said, "Run program NE7, authorization Janeway92."

New Earth appeared around them again but with a few differences that Chakotay noticed immediately.

His face broke into a grin. "You've kept the program going from when we left?" He turned to look at her, and she thought that whatever happened in the next few minutes, it was worth it to see the look on his face. "I started building the house?" He ran towards it to admire the work, while Kathryn walked slowly behind him.

When he was sure she was behind him, he asked quietly, "I know why I have a New Earth program – what it means to me. What does your program mean to you?"

"Don't you know? You seem to always know more about me than I do myself."

He turned to face her and laughed. "I'm not that good, Kathryn. There are many times I think I know nothing."

Kathryn smiled at him. "I think you know that those six weeks were the happiest I have experienced in a long time - maybe even since I lost Justin and my father. I know that I've never felt as loved as I felt then – not with Justin, not with Mark." There was a brief pause. "I can be just Kathryn here." She shook her head slightly, "I _want_ to be just Kathryn here." She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. If he was going to force her hand, she might as well force his. "Why did you end your relationship with Seven?"

Chakotay tilted his face down to the ground and ran a hand through his hair. Her straight-forwardness was near the top of his list of reasons he loved her even though he hated the discomfort of it. "First of all, how did you know about that?"

"Blame it on Admiral Janeway. Now answer the question."

"Kathryn, I really don't want to talk about Seven right now. We can later, but right now, I want to talk about us."

"Is there an us?" Her tone was light but dripping with sarcasm.

"Kathryn Janeway, stop it!" There she went with another deflection technique – always shields up. What had ever happened to their easy honesty? "We have less than twelve hours before we disembark this ship to face debriefing sessions and who knows what else. I don't know how often we'll see each other then, and I want us" he pointed back and forth between them, "settled before we transport off this ship."

His anger surprised her. He rarely raised his voice to anyone. So many thoughts, fears, wants ran through her head, but then she quietly said, "I can't believe you would choose me over Seven."

"You really can't, can you? Kathryn, the last seven years have been…" He paused, closed his eyes, and sighed. He looked at her again and continued, "They've been like wanting coffee and not being able to have it. You can smell the aroma, see the steam rising off the cup, but you can't have it. So in order to stop thinking about it, you try other substitutes – hot tea, warm milk, hot chocolate, maybe even one of Neelix's concoctions. They're good, but what you really want is coffee – its warmth, its complexity, its depth, even its bitterness. If coffee is what you want, nothing else satisfies."

"Coffee?" She looked at him with her lopsided grin. After all his lectures that she drank too much, this was how he was explaining his love for her?

"I had to choose something you could relate to."

"But you don't like coffee that much."

"But I do like you."

Kathryn silently laughed and shook her head at him.

"May I?" He moved toward her, arms reaching out to pull her to him.

"We've waited seven years and you have to kiss me now? It can't wait until we're done with the check and have turned the ship over?"

"I'm not leaving this ship without kissing you on board once."

Kathryn's laugh was audible this time. "Computer, seal the doors and cease recording information about this room for the next ten minutes."

"Ten?" He registered surprise. "Twenty."

Kathryn almost melted at his smile and the seductive look in his eyes. Really, the man was too gorgeous, and he knew it. She stretched her face in surprise. "Twenty?"

"Yes."

"How about ten here, then ten in the Ready Room?" Her voice deepened slightly as it took on a seductive tone of its own.

"The Ready Room?"

She smiled almost wickedly. "The Ready Room. I've had one too many fantasies about a make-out session with you on that couch."

Chakotay smiled and raised an eyebrow at her. As he pulled her close, he quietly said "And just like coffee, so many different ways to enjoy you."

 _Author's note:_ I'm new to Voyager fanfiction and have definitely not made my way through the 125 pages of J/C stories that are out there. My apologies if someone has done something similar; any infringement is unintentional.

My husband is kind enough to be my beta reader before I publish. I thought some of you might enjoy his suggestion for Chakotay's dialogue when Kathryn asks why he would choose her over Seven. He suggested the line, "She said, 'Sex is irrelevant', so I had to dump her."


End file.
